Where's your Hula-Hoop?


As children grow up they develop a set of skills which enables them to learn how to manage their emotions. They develop a sense of self sufficiency and control over themselves based on the modeling behaviors of their caretakers. Most children have their needs met through the provision of structure, routine and love from their safe and nurturing environment. When children grow up in homes with caretakers who lack the ability to provide a structed safe and loving place to develop, they begin to grow a fractured and skewed sense of self where their basic needs aren't met. These children grow up to become adult children. Because they lacked the guidance necessary to develop healthy coping styles, balanced emotional regulation and self worth, they seek to obtain validation, control and security from the world around them. When the world around them fails to meet their needs, which are often unrealistic, since self worth and a healthy emotional sense of self come from within, they often act out. Acting out comes in many forms and manifests typically in the form of substance use or codependent personality. In Recovery, we learn how to care for ourselves and become self sufficient. We uncover our authentic selves and develop new ways to meet our needs without setting unrealistic expectations on ourselves and the world. We identify our boundaries and use our voices to advocate for ourselves and meet our own needs. We find our hula hoops. We stand inside them and learn where within the hoop we begin and end and where everything outside of us begins and ends. We learn how to interact with the world. The hula hoop teaches us how to care for ourselves and have empathetic relationships without the toxicity of codependency. They teach us our boundaries. Standing in our hula hoops we are able to meet our own emotional needs because we see what is within our control to change and the things and people outside of the hoop which we have no power over. We begin to heal.

5 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All